The one who benefits most from your forgiveness is you.
Forgiveness doesn’t ensure another will change their actions. People get caught in toxic patterning for all sorts of reasons. Forgiveness does not ensure that no one will harm you again. Forgiveness does not mean what happened was acceptable and that people who harm do not have to be accountable.
When we hold onto anger with others, it affects our own body, our own psyche. When we hold onto anger long enough it morphs into loathing and hatred. These are poisons to the heart.
Forgiveness means, you choose to understand your own, or another’s actions because carrying around then weight of ongoing anger is too heavy of a burden on your heart and at some point you need to put the load down for your own health. Forgiveness clears out space in our hearts that can then be occupied by love, compassion, and grace.
When we forgive ourselves and others we move one step closer to our own peace.
This is a breathing exercise that can be used when you are having difficulty forgiving. Sit in a comfortable upright position. Place your left hand over your heart and your right hand on top. Breathing into the heart repeat these words aloud, or silently to yourself:
Breathing in: I am aware of why you behaved as you did.
Breathing out: I forgive you, for my own peace.